More Than Beautiful

A phone call that changed my life…

I have never met Pam Johnson, but I hope to some day.  She shares her personal story of adoption.  Pam’s story shows that really, when all is said and done, love changes everything!   Thank you for sharing your story Pam!

~ Blenda

Jenny’s Adoption

My name is Pam Johnson and for many of us, there is a certain telephone call that can and will change your life forever.  Our call came early in the month of November 2007.  As I answered the call, not sure who was on the other end, I heard the quivery voice of my niece. We chatted for a minute and then the question came.  “Can Jenny (child’s name has been changed) come and live with you for awhile until we can get things worked out.”  Without a hesitation I said, “Yes.”  Our niece’s five-month old baby was admitted to the hospital for reasons I wish not to discuss in this forum.  The Division of Child and Family Services had taken custody of her child a couple of days earlier.

After the phone call I called my husband and told him what had just happened.  He felt this was something we should do and we needed to discuss this decision with our other children.  As a couple we discussed with our children what had happened to Jenny and what huge changes would occur in our home.  Every one was excited and willing for the challenge.  We proceeded with the process to become foster parents.  The goal was to have Jenny back with her parents within 3-6 months.  Through the interviews with caseworkers, we were constantly asked if Jenny’s parents were not able to get her back, would we adopt her.  We always agreed but in the back of my mind I just KNEW my niece would do everything to get her child back.

We were approved and we started taking foster parenting classes twice a week for four hours a night, starting in January of 2008.  We were taught that as foster parents, the goal was reunification.  That is a hard concept when you know that the parents have abused or neglected their child.   Foster parents were to set a good example of parenting for the biological parents.

We basically had nine days to prepare for Jenny’s arrival.  Family and friends offered to help with everything we needed.  On December 7, 2007 Jenny arrived.  Friends and family stopped by to take a peek.  The next six months would test our marriage, our faith, our family relationships and our physical needs for SLEEP.  My life was consumed with phone calls, doctor appointments, trips to DCFS 2-3 times a week, court hearings, appointments with occupational, physical therapist, caseworkers and keeping up with my other three children’s needs and schedules.

Jenny was nine weeks premature, a breech birth and only weighed 3 pounds 13 oz. and was in the hospital for two months after her birth.  At five months old, Jenny weighed 9 pounds and her development was delayed.  Her head had a flat spot in the back so we were advised to have her fitted for a helmet to put pressure on certain areas of her skull.  Holding this child down so the technician could cast her head just broke my heart.  I felt like she had been through enough.  This was not easy for a child to endure.  We had to watch for pressure points that would break her skin. The goal was to work up to wearing the helmet for 23 hours a day.  She endured the hot, bulky helmet from May through September.

As six months approached, Jenny’s parents had some setbacks and Jenny was not going home just yet.  Visits with her parents were getting harder.  Often when I would drop Jenny off at her visits, I would run to my car and cry.  Many times she did not want to let go of me and would cry with panic.

A year and a half later, Jenny’s development was not progressing as quickly as it should have been.    Along with the other therapist, a speech therapist was put into the schedule.  She started teaching Jenny to communicate through sign language.  Our whole family was learning quickly and now it is a part of our daily life.  Jenny is hypotonic and did not start walking until she was two.  She would scoot on her bum or we would carry her everywhere.

She still would not sleep through the night.  We tried everything that we were told or could think of.  As she was getting older, we noticed at night that she would rock on her hands and knees and pull her hair.  Every night the same behavior would occur.  We finally decided we needed to do more about her sleep issues.  She had an MRI, and chromosome testing.  Those results came back normal.   Jenny was subjected to a sleep study and nothing was tremendously abnormal.  But she was diagnosed with restless leg syndrome and rhythmic movement disorder.  We were told she would outgrow these issues.  Well, a year later she still is not sleeping at night.

Jenny did return to her parents for a trial period in October, 2008.   This day I had dreaded,  but I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.  After eleven months I still wasn’t prepared.  When Jenny left my home I felt like my heart broke in two.  I fell completely apart and was ill to my stomach.  Three weeks later Jenny fell very ill.  We are very lucky she is still here with us today.  It was determined that her parents were unable to care for her.  The caseworker returned her to us.  In the months following this setback, her parents reluctantly signed over their rights.

After many tears and lots of worry we were now able to adopt Jenny.  Now we could call ourselves Mom and Dad instead of Aunt and Uncle.  We couldn’t imagine life without her.  It was something that we didn’t plan on, but it felt so right.  We love her so much.  It still took another nine months to finalize the adoption.  We have still minimal contact with Jenny’s parents.  All of our family members are supportive.  I would be lying if I didn’t admit there are some large hurdles to overcome on a daily basis.  You never know what the Good Lord has in store for you and what the conversation might be with your next telephone call.